Grief and gratitude

Every morning, I get up and go to the barn. I clean Sage's pigpen stall, groom her and take her for a walk.

On some days, we're joined by a friend.

Other times, it's just the two of us.

We go down the trail.

We "work" in the ring.

Basically, it's exactly what I was doing with Olive at this time last year.

Although I'm trying really hard to stay in the moment, it's impossible not to make comparisons.

I miss this girl so much.

I would do almost anything to spend another day with her.

I am so sad our time together was so short.

But also, I am grateful.

I am grateful for the time we had, especially those last seven and a half months. 

Every single day - even the really, really hard days - I woke up and was grateful because Olive was alive.

That time was everything.

That time was priceless.

Except, in fact, it did have a price. 

A really, really big price.

As hard as things feel sometimes, I know it could be so much worse.

I could still be making monthly payments on my dead horse.

Thank you again - thank you forever - to everyone who contributed to Olive's health care Go Fund Me last year. I appreciated you then, I appreciate you now. I miss my pony, but I am so grateful for my community of friends.