Miracles

Olive's surgery started late Thursday night and finished in the wee hours of Friday morning. After it was over, Seth and I went home to sleep. He did. I didn't.

Instead, I lay in bed, worrying about Olive. The medical team was optimistic, but she wasn't even out of recovery yet. So many things could still go wrong.

At 4:15 Am, my phone rang. It was Dr Williams. He didn't identify himself or bother with pleasantries. saying simply, "Your horse is awake and standing." Bless that man.

I tried to go back to sleep, but it was impossible. I was just so worried. In addition to concerns about Olive's health, aside from a vague plan to sell my model horses, I had no idea how I was going to pay for this. Colic surgery is so expensive. I started a savings account for Olive when I got her, but it was not nearly enough.

I spent the morning watching the clock and waiting for it to be visiting hours at Littleton. I spent most of that time on my phone, talking to friends. Everyone encouraged me to start a Go Fund Me, but I really didn't feel right doing that.

"She's my horse," I said. "She's my responsibility."

Heather asked, "What if I did it for you?" and I agreed that would be okay.

Finally, it was time to go see Olive. The ICU staff was getting her ready for a walk when I arrived, and I was delighted to do the honors. 

Olive seemed mostly okay while she was outside, but she crashed when she got back in her stall. She was alive, which felt like a miracle in and of itself, but she was still obviously sore, tired, anxious and crabby.

I spent the entire day with her. 

Sometimes, she wanted attention. Other times, she wanted to be left alone.

During the alone times, I sat in the corner and checked my phone.

I saw Heather's fundraiser go live.

I read the kind words she wrote about Olive and I. They made me cry, but in a good way.

Then the money started to come in.

Friends, the tears have not stopped flowing since. I will never be able to thank you enough. This is so much more than I could have ever expected. Even now, all these days later, I can just barely wrap my mind around it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.