Turn turn turn

Yesterday two horses I never wanted to say goodbye to stepped onto a trailer and rode out of my life.

That's the nature of making friends at boarding stables. As lives and needs change, people - and their horses - come and go. Some goodbyes are hard, but they aren't usually final. Everyone keeps in touch through Facebook. There are occasional lunches and many happy reunions at the Stock Show, the Horse Expo and Dover. It's not the same, but it's fine.

Except, this time it's not.

The nature of this parting was so deliberately hurtful, it's hard to see any basis for a friendship going forward. 

I can not tell you how hard this has been. I've spent the last month questioning every aspect of the last ten years. Were we ever really friends? Was it all one sided? Did I just see what I wanted to see? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

As I stood in front of an empty stall this morning, I realized the friendship was real, but limited. What I thought was a lifelong, committed relationship, was actually a seasonal fling. It was a good season, a long season, but ultimately, just a season.

Yesterday two horses I never thought I’d to say goodbye to stepped onto a trailer and rode out of my life. I am sad to see them go, but also, I am relieved. 

It's time to move on to the next season.