Last week, my barn buddy, Diana, rode past me and asked how I was doing.
Typically in that situation, I say I'm fine - it's a casual encounter and that's what people expect to hear - but on that day, I really was not fine at all. Poor Diana got an earful.
At some point, I realized I'd been talking too long. I wiped my tears away and said apologetically, "Sorry, it's been a tough year."
"No, Jennifer," she said kindly. "It's been a lot longer than that."
She's right. I feel like my life has been one long series of crises dating back to April 2023. To be sure, there have been a lot of good moments - and a few great ones - in that time, but also, there have been so many crises. The crisis management is unending, and I am tired.
I am just so, so, so tired.
Usually, I can write my way through things, but this week, I've completely run out of energy. I thought a giveaway might jumpstart my enthusiasm - it usually does - but not this time.
Did I mention how tired I am?
In any event, I did manage to pick a winner for this month's BreyerFest loot giveaway. Congratulations, Shannon Hayden. I hope you are feeling much better now!
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That is such a difficult situation to be in. Sending hugs and prayers!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're going through such a hard time 🫂
ReplyDeleteI can understand how tired you are - different circumstances, but I lived through a couple of troubled years as well - ending with a burnout last January… I‘ve hopefully passed the worst, a therapy helped a lot. But I feel I‘m riding on a knife‘s edge…
ReplyDeleteI wish you many more good moments in the future!
Kirsten
PS: I can hardly weit to read again about Sage!
Words don't always work, but I do understand. The times themselves are tiring. Hopefully there are brighter days ahead.
ReplyDeleteSometimes just taking one step forward is the most difficult thing to accomplish. At times you may need a push from behind or someone pulling you forward for that one step. Although many miles away, I am pulling for you...
ReplyDeleteI really feel the 50s are such a hard decade. The usual tough stuff like aging parents and losing parents, the beginnings our own check engine lights coming on and the feeling of the years on our bodies and new health issues showing up, if one has children I see the feelings of pride on the kids growing up and being successful but also see the sadness of saying goodbye to the time of having them at home then toss in other things like the loss of pets and horses and it becomes such a sad ordeal. I hope you can find peace again in the your new reality.
ReplyDeleteYou described it so well!
DeleteI agree!!!
DeleteSending hugs <3
ReplyDeleteI feel you! Sending hugs!
ReplyDeleteHugs x
ReplyDelete