Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Still sad

Yesterday, I went to Kenlyn to mourn.  I met Cara there, and we hugged each other and Rev, fed carrots to Erica's horse and swapped Erica stories.  Mostly, though, we cried.
Today, I went to Kenlyn to ride.  I went early and it was quiet.  Rev was on his best behavior, and part of me kept waiting for Erica to walk around a corner and ask, "How's Rev today?"   
"He's always good!" I told her silently, and for a moment, I could almost see her big, happy smile.
Usually I'm pretty focused when I ride, but Rev was so good that I let my mind wander.  I thought about my life at twenty six and my life since I was twenty six.  
Then I thought about Erica and all the things she'd done and hadn't done.  Twenty six years is just too short. 
I am sad for myself.  I will miss Erica terribly, but even more, I'm sad for Erica.  I'm sad for her family and friends--both human and equine.  She was a beautiful and generous person, and her passing leaves a gigantic void.
Riding always makes me feel better, so it's no surprise that eventually my thoughts wandered into happier territory.  In particular,  I remembered Erica telling me that when she imagined Rev talking, he always spoke with Elvis' voice.  
So, I tried--not for the first time--to hear an Elvis voice coming out of Rev's mouth.  Still couldn't.  Elvis?  Really?
Obviously, today's photos do not match today's post.  
These pictures were taken by my friend, Kellye Bussey at last weekend's BYO All Performance Show which was held in Boliver, Texas.  Thank you so much for letting me share them, Kellye!

8 comments:

  1. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for the photos though, they are GORGEOUS!!!!

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    1. Like I said, Kellye gets all the credit for the photos. I figured if I was going to write two sad posts in a row, I at least needed to provide everyone with some non-sad pictures!

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  2. I'm glad you could use the photos. I am so terribly sorry about your friend - that's a lot to wrap your head around. Twenty-six is only just beginning....

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  3. Both posts were wonderful moving tributes to your friend. We are all sorry for the loss, and we all grieve with you.

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    1. Yes, This poster said everything I wanted to say TO you and FOR you.

      I couldn't have said it better...

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  4. I know this post is well over a year old, but I'm sorry for your loss, and for everyone who knew Erica, because you never really forget the amazing people in your life.

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    1. I still think about Erica every day.

      Shortly before her death, Erica took a "between the ears" photo of the trail by Kenlyn and posted it on Facebook with the caption, "I love my job!" Her parents chose to use that for the back cover of the memorial service program. I have it pinned to the wall by my work desk. It reminds me that I do love my job and also, that life is short and precious. Good lessons.

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