What could possibly go wrong?

When we left Guffey, I had all but decided that Ruby was my horse.

By the next day, however, I'd mostly changed my mind. Instead of looking at the positives - which were many - I started worrying about the negatives - which were few but not insignificant.

"I just don't know," I said to myself. "Maybe I should keep looking."

Side note: If you ever want to not buy a horse, be sure to take me horse shopping with you. I can find something wrong with all of them. 

The next few days were extremely busy. I developed a painful tooth infection and flew to California with Ryan. I still hadn't made up my mind, and I knew the clock was ticking.

Then I found myself sitting in a dark hospital room with my sleeping mother, who - for the first time ever - hadn't recognized me. I was alone with my thoughts, and my thoughts weren't good. I was overwhelmingly sad about mom and overwhelmingly overwhelmed with all the things we need to do for her and her estate. I grieved for Olive and Darcy and reflected on all the horses I'd tried, especially those that probably would have suited me if I could have just been a little less picky. I remembered that Winslow - who has gotten me through so much - would be going home soon, too. On top of all that, my teeth still hurt.

"You know," I said to myself. "I'm just going to do it." 

After the visit was over, I drove back to the house, got the contract out of my suitcase, signed it and emailed it to Stefanie. Then I went back downstairs and let Nick pour me a stiff drink.

I realize you probably shouldn't make big life decisions in a psych ward, but this feels completely on brand for my life right now. 

Welcome to the family, Ruby LCo Sage.